Media today is so much click bait! The information that we read is rewritten, scrubbed, and hyped to draw us in, but then it gets too long, has too many names, so we don’t read to the end- and the end is where the article usually hides important information.
Your child’s behavior is the same way. Acting out is large and frightening and seems out of control- and the first this we want to do is control it. But- and this is huge, maybe control is not what the behavior needs- maybe it needs a secure place to play out, then the child can process the feelings that cause the outburst. The information that hides at the end of the behavior is the most important- read to the end– talk or draw or play.
Be patient with yourself and your child; set limits- read to the end. Behavior is an article, there is incredible information- about independence, fear, learning, expectations, tiredness- and in the heat of the moment, reading to the end is hard.
Sometimes an article is worth sharing- same with your child’s behavior- verbalize what you are seeing “Something about your homework is making you angry”, “Today made you tired, I can see you need a place to be sad”, “I understand that you are upset, you can have 5 minutes to yourself, but we need to get ready to go to dance class after that”.
Read to the end– a child who is given limits and understanding, a place for secure emotional exploration and regulation and love becomes a compassionate human. Here’s the surprise- the behavior article might be a very long read- even years long- but the results are fantastic- a child who can read to themselves to the end!