So you are thinking about marriage? That’s great! Having a life partner is something to look forward to. If that is what you both want. There are some key questions that need answers and some detailed information that should be talked about. The goal is not to know every single detail about your partner before you get married. That is simply not possible, we are humans and we grow and change way too often. However, there are some things you should know and talk about before you get married.
First Conversation: Expectations
What is Marriage to You?
This question eliminates the assumption that we all think about marriage the same. Marriage to you can look the exact opposite to your partner. Do you feel like marriage is a partnership? What exactly do you think our partnership should look like? Marriage could be something they want to check off their list of accomplishments and they do not have a real meaning behind marriage. Maybe, they have never seen a marriage in close proximity and just do not know what it is supposed to mean.
What do you Expect From Me as a Wife/Husband?
Does your partner have ideas already of how they expect their future wife/husband to be? Are they basing their ‘ideal spouse” on someone they see on TV or the internet? Maybe they expect their spouse to be like their mom or dad. Are their expectations realistic for you and the relationship you all have together? This question is important because it allows you and your partner to sit down and discuss true expectations. It also opens the dialogue for you all to create expectations that work for your relationship.
How Do You Expect to be Loved?
This could be a tough but important question. This question can be tough because sometimes we know that we want to be loved but we have a difficult time spelling out what that actually looks like. It is important because we could be showing our partner that we love them in ways we think showing love looks like, but your way could mean something different to them. So, the question is, what does love look like for you? How would you like for me to show you love? Take your time with this question and ask it often.
Are your expectations realistic?
What did you learn about yourself and your partner?